Okay, you guys. Here’s the deal. I’m been putting this off for well over a month now. Really, since last summer.
I’ve got a lot of stuff in my brain. There are things I’m trying to work through. There are things I’m trying to understand about myself and the world. There are things about myself that I’m trying to improve or accept.
Thing blog is the space where I’m going to work it out.
So, who am I? My name is Yvonne, but you can call me evie. I’m 30 now. I have ADHD. I struggle with depression and anxiety, especially social anxiety. I’m sensitive. I have a lot of emotions, but I’m also highly sensitive to noises and light and other weird things like that.
All of these things (except my age) make me feel really bad about myself. They make me feel flawed and different, but I bet a lot more people have these things, or a combination of these things, than I realize.
Other things about myself: I like to run. I do kenpo. I’m currently an orange belt in White Tiger Kenpo (honestly, I don’t really know what the whole white tiger part is about). I’m vegan. I love that about myself. I love animals. I currently have two cats and a dog—all either rescued or adopted. I love to cook. I’m in a relationship with a man, Johnny Lovely. We’ve been together for nearly 13 years. He’s pretty great.
I work for a non-profit, but my education isn’t geared for that specifically. I wanted to teach at a college level. I have two bachelor’s degrees (English and History) and a Master’s Degree in American Studies. I felt like a fraud there. I went into non-profit. I love it, but I feel under prepared for the field. That’s something I need to work out.
Over the years (and it may be work induced), my anxiety has gotten worst. I’ve always had anxiety, but I was having more and more panic attacks. Those are not fun. I’ve struggled with depression for as long as I can remember—maybe since I was 15 years old or something. I think at first I thought I was just hitting that part of being a teenager where everything sucks. Well, I’m 30, and I still often think that everything sucks.
I’m in therapy. And I run and do kenpo to help my brain. Physical stuff helps keep my ADHD from getting too bad. Medicine has been helping my depression. My anxiety is not too much in check.
Simply writing this is giving me anxiety. What will you think of me? Am I being too open? Well guess what! No one is reading this, so who the flip cares?
So let’s do this!